five times roz doyle loved frasier (and one time she didn't)
by khaleesifromdc
Summary: title self explanatory. spoilers for season 5, 7, 9 and 10. rated M for language (thanks for the tip, anon!)


**Autor's note:** this is a partial response to ground floor, written by my friend liz. So, you should read it after reading this one, the last piece is a set up for hers. I also wanted to thank liz for the support and the help. you are the best!

Enjoy, and reviews are always welcome. :)

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five times roz doyle loved frasier - and one time she hated him

01.

it's late and she's exhausted. after the shift at KACL, she still had to shoot the promos at her place, and do some paperwork. it was one of those days where she would curse at herself for taking that damn job.

the doorbell rings, and she's not surprised to see frasier at her doorstep. she had told him to stop by to shoot the damn promos quickly, before he went on a date. she was surprised, tho, as she sees him holding a pizza on a hand and a coke in the other.

she smiles, thinking how odd it is so see frasier in such a casual way. they had been working for almost three years, and she could count on her hands the number of times she saw him without a suit. roz greets him looking at the pizza. "i thought you had a date", she coments casually.

"i did, but i felt bad by letting you with the hard work, so i cancelled" she said, simply. "so i brought pizza. i'd bring beer too, but i just can't stand the taste."

she was really touched by that small gesture. frasier was a good guy. they sat, and she opened the box: pepperoni, her favorite. she takes a piece, as he sits comfortably in her couch. she sits by his side, legs crossed. roz takes a bite, looking at him amused, with a smirk on her face.

"what?", he says, smiling at her.

she takes a sip of the coke he had brought. she can't stop smiling at him, and it makes him smile at her back, in a childish way.

"she cancelled on you, didn't she?"

he looks down. "oh roz, let me have this one, will you?"

she laughs, totally relaxed. his companion is easy and comfortable, and familiar in a way she had never experienced. their connection didn't need so much work. they could spend time together quietly, and it wouldn't be awkward.

it was the first time she had noticed how good it felt to have frasier around. she really appreciated the friendship they had built. he was, at the time, her favorite person to talk to, she realized.

she offers him a toast, smirking. "i'll let this one go. but just this one." she winks at him. he pats her shoulder with his own, and drinks.

it wasn't that bad of a day, after all.

2.

just like gil's gingerbreads or bulldog's holiday harassments, that had become a tradition. the only difference was that this was only theirs, like a dirty little secret, shared in the dark radio booth, forgotten for the rest of the year.

his lips are sweet, and taste like the eggnogs that got them there in the first place. there was nothing pompous in the way frasier grab her by the waist, shutting the door from the booth with her body, exploring her mouth with his tongue. she can't breathe, and she wants more.

part of her craves for the christmas party at KACL just for those moments, where they could have their hands all over each other without any prejudice. she laughs, without any particular reason. it feels so good and so right, and yet so unreal. like a blurry dream.

she touches his cheek, still with a dumb smile, probably caused by the alcohol involved. or maybe she's just legitemaly happy with that. "hmmm. you smell like sherry." she pronunciates it slowly, laughing. "and ink." she slides her finger through his face, making a invisible draw.

he laughs at her, and then gets really close, touching her face with his nose. they stop laughing, suddenly serious, and stare at each other for a second, before his mouth meet hers once more, eager consuming them.

breathless, before any of them were really ready, he breaks the kiss, going on a different direction as his lips start to caress the soft skin of her neck, making her crazy, and moments later he's back, crawling to her mouth, kissing her with a burning passion.

she could explode. she wanted him, right there, completely. she pushes him to the desk and sits on it, scratching his back from the outside of his now dented, loose shirt. he put his hand on her tights, lifting her skirt a little. she moans in his ear, looking for his seatbelt with quick hands, without realizing when someone knocks at the door. frasier does, and quickly straight himself up.

they share a look and she knows that their thing is over, at least for that year. cleaning her mouth with her fingers and pulling down her skirt, she makes a move with her head, indicating frasier can open the door now.

03.

"this is doctor frasier crane, wishing you good mental health."

thank god, she thinks to herself. that had been a long day, with specially annoying people calling. carrying a seven month fetus inside her, she didn't have a position that could keep her comfortable for more than 5 minutes.

maybe the callers weren't that annoying, she thinks. maybe it was just her bad mood.

frasier opens the door, mumbling something about operas or any other boring stuff that rich people do on thursday nights. god, he was annoying. and that wasn't just the bad mood speaking.

she gets up with difficulty, and goes to the tape wall. she notices he's still talking, and she feels like screaming at him, when something hits her from the inside like a lighting, almost taking her breath away.

"ouch!"

frasier stops his pagliacci speech for a second, and realizes she's in real pain. he runs to her, and helps her sit in her chair. she's scared and he notices.

"roz, what is it?"

"god, frasier, i don't know, it came out of nowhere and it just hurts to breathe now and..."

she squeezes his hand. it couldn't be it. it was way too soon. her head spins as she starts to think about premature babies and complications. her stomach is sick only thinking about it.

he's on his knees in the booth, trying to calm her. "roz, tell me where it hurts."

while still holding one of his hands, she uses the other to point to the area between her breasts and her waist. he lift up her sweater, and gently put his hand right where she pointed. he makes slow circles around what appeared to be a elevation, til the pain starts to slowly fade away.

"what was this?" she is still pretty terrified.

"oh, roz.. the little doyle inside of you just kicked your ribs while adjusting to her new position" he says in a calm voice, smiling to her while still making the little circles, massaging her belly. "he or she is quite strong, to knock this doyle out."

she feels like crying. of relief for not being anything bad, of shame for reacting like that in front of frasier, of fear for being so naive and unprepared for all of that. she hugs him, fighting tears. those goddamn hormones were killing her.

"roz, it is okay."

"i feel so stupid, god."

"hey, this stuff is pretty scary. frederick did this to lilith a couple times, it is normal."

"thank you, frasier. god, i'm sorry. this hormones and these changes are just making me crazy and paranoid and i worry all the time and i don't feel good about myself and basically i'm a mess. i'm sorry."

"roz, its okay. i'm here." he approaches his mouth from her belly and whispers "hey, little doyle. easy there. you're gonna have a lot of time to scare your mother once you get out of there!" he places a soft kiss in the spot.

it was the first time someone talked to her belly.

she always thought it was silly, but roz was actually moved by him doing it. the baby kicked the spot where frasier's mouth was about ten seconds ago.  
"he or she likes you", she tells him, smiling. he stands there for some minutes, feeling the kicks with a radiant look on his face.

kenny opens the door, looking worried. "hey, is everything okay around here?"

frasier gets up. "everything's fine, kenny. we're just finding out how great roz will be as a mother."

he smiles at her, and leaves with kenny. she secretly wishes him to stay there forever. he could be annoying, but he could also be wonderful sometimes. the most wonderful, she adds when the baby kicks again.

4.

"okay, your turn. most embarassing sexual memory."

She sips the scotch, waiting for the next Crane story. The hall was almost empty now; you could only see some couples and one of Daphne's brother, God knows wich, with a bottle, chasing one of the bridesmaids.

"Well, being with Bebe for a night is enough of a embarassing sexual encounter, isn't it?"

She laughs loudly, clearly drunk. "Oh, c'mon Frasier, a real story, one I've never heard of. I told you about the library story!"

"Oh, Roz, you don't exactly feel embarassed about that, do you?" She nods, gesturing with her hands. Frasier looks in the direction of the stairs. "God, I'm worried about Niles and Daphne."

"Relax, they're gonna be fine." She finishes her drink. He makes sure she doesn't ask for another one; she had been drinking since she got there. "What is supposed to happen will happen eventually. Or something."

"You really think so?" He looks at her, surprised by words of wisdom coming out with such an ancoholic breath.

"Sure. Look at me: I tried to show my ex-boyfriend that I was with a great guy, but of course that's not supposed to happen. So instead i showed him Simon, which is clearly.. well, you know. Do I make any sense?"

"Not really, no." He smiles at her, while her chuckles, looking at the empty glass.

"In the end, I made a fool of myself. Look at me. Pathetic, drunk Roz for a change" She mumbles, not very audible.

"You can double check the drunk box. Good God, how many drinks have you got?"

"You don't wanna know, Fras." she sighs. "Will we be alone forever?", she asked, looking at him. The happy drunk was gone, as she got teared.

"Oh, C'mon Roz, of course not." he affirms, not sure himself of that.

"I feel like in the end everyone gets their happy ending while we... we stare from the background."

She puts her hand on his shoulder, trying to find a way to getting up but failing. "We're really not lucky on love."

Frasier helps her getting up, holding her by her arms and guiding her through the now entirely empty hall. She is dizzy from all the scotch she had earlier, mixed with vodka and champagne. Before she realizes, he has brought her to her room.

"Frasier?"

"Hm?" he mumbles, without paying much attention, looking for her key in her purse.

"Maybe you should.. come in."

He stops, almost dropping her purse on the floor. He takes a moment before answering. When he finally open his mouth, she shushs him with a finger, throwing her arms around his neck, almost falling with her lack of balance.

"Maybe that's it. Maybe we're so out of luck with other people that we should just settle down."

He open her door, and helps her sit on her bed. Frasier sits next to her, and take one of her hands.

"You've had one bad, terrible, humilliating.."

"Oh, please go on", she cuts him, sarcastically.

"Okay, okay. You had one bad experience, but tomorrow bring new possibilities. You can't give up like that. And you can't make a choice in this condition, either."

She looks away, trying to think. He had a point. God, Frasier always knows what to say, she thinks.

"Plus, you were the one who said everything that is supposed to happen will happen eventually", he adds smiling.

She puts her hand on her face, feeling the first sympton of a hangover coming. She felt embarassed.

"You're right. God, I'm sorry, I'm just.. tired."

"Wasted would be a better word for it."

He helps her get into bed, while she chuckles. He's about to close the door, when he comes back, only a head on the door.

"Not that I'm not flattered, Roz."

She smiles, while he closes the door. In the back of her head, she knows he did the right thing. Frasier always knows what to do, too. She makes a mental note to never forget what a true gentleman he was. He could have taken advantage of her state, but instead he took care of her.

"Everything that's supposed to happen will happen eventually", she whispers to herself in the dark, wishing that sort of mantra was true. But more importantly, secretly wishing Frasier had meant them.

She smiles

5.

he closes the room as soon as she walks in. she's radiant.

"frasier, i think this was the best night of my life!" she smiles at him. "how can i ever thank you?"

he smiles, too, crossing his arm around his chest. "oh roz, you don't have to thank me. it was fun."

"it was, wasn't it? god, i don't think i've ever seen denise so miserable. i love her, but it feels so good to be on top for a change." he nods, a bit nervous. she notices. "i should've told her the truth, though. i'm sorry. i really thought they wouldn't suggest us to be in the same room."

"as they said, roz, they know you." he laughs, she joins him.

she reads him better than he gives her credit for. he looks around the room.

"roz? we've never really talked about.. well." she sits in the bed, waiting for him to finish. "what do.. what are we.. well, what happens now?" he says, sitting next to her.

she bites her lips, trying to think. they were friends before anything, she had made that clear earlier. he sits next to her.

"frasier.. i'm too fucked up." he tries to say something. "no, let me finish. i'm fucked up, things don't end well for me. never have. the one thing that has been right all this time i you, and i don't wanna step in something unstable, only to look back in the future and see it as a mistake."

"i agree. let's make this a special memory, rather than a hurtful one. like freud would say.."

she punchs him lightly in he shoulder, smiling. "this is why we would be a mistake."

he laughs, putting one hand in her tight. they stay like that for a moment. he gets up.

"well, i'll sleep at the floor tonight, and you can take the bed." he takes a pillow in his hand.

"frasier, don't be stupid. you're not going to sleep on the ground after having dinner with my family. one torture at time, geez!"

"i don't wanna make things weird, roz, i really don't mind.."

"stop it, frasier. you're not sleeping on the floor. i'll go downstairs, and tell denise the truth. then i'll find somewhere and.."

she gets up, and starts walking through the door. he takes her hand, gently, stopping her.

"no, roz. you tell her tomorrow. let yourself have this night. i really don't mind sleeping on the floor."

she smiles. part of her wants to take back everything she said five minutes ago.

he takes a pillow while she goes to the bathroom to change. when she's back, frasier is trying to find a way to lay down comfortably on the floor.

"oh, frasier. what the hell. we're adults. c'mon, get in here." she looks at him; he still seems unconfortable. she knows he doesn't want to cross the line again. roz appreciates his caring. "frasier, nothing we've never seen before, right?" she winks.

he smiles, shyly. it takes him a minute before he finally agrees. they get in bed and she turns off the light. silence.

"frasier?"

"yes, roz?"

"thank you. for last night." they're both quiet for a moment, staring at the ceiling. she closes her eyes, reminding of the previous night. his lips and his hands making her crazy, but also making her feel loved. she continues. "for tonight. thank you."

roz's not quite sure what to say. she can almost feel his brain working on her left side, she then takes his arm, and puts it around her. she needed his warm body, giving her a feeling of security. she also needs to remind what it's like to be under his embrace, before it fades away. they had an agreement, but she still felt sad for letting it go without giving a real shot.

she feels his breath on her neck. he adjust himself around her, fitting perfectly; frasier kisses her cheek, with the same tenderness he had shown the night before.

"that's what friends are for, roz."

06.

"thank you julia, i think i'll have some cake."

she's perplexed. mumbling a weak, almost inaudible "fine", she rushes through the room. as roz slums the doors behind her, she start whispering in a non stop frenesi "what did i do? what did i do? what did i do?"

she pushes the elevator button frenetically. she needs to get out of there. that hall was intoxicating, like a dense smoke of humilliation, running through her lungs, making it impossible for her to breathe.

what was she thinking? giving him a ultimatum, like a spoiled child, in front of her. not being chosen, in front of her. being profusely humilliated in front of her.

she presses the buttons again. julia's face was printed in her mind. her little smirk. her condescending tone.

"you're in love with him?"

the sentence that kept repeating in her head, like a broken record, sounding more stupid everytime, making her dizzy.

the elevator doors opened, and roz soon got in. her head was spinning. how could he? he barely know that woman, and suddenly, he throws away ten years of... "of what?", a voice said in her head. she shakes her head, trying to clean her mind.

"you're in love with him?", the broken record starts again. she cared about frasier. "you're in love with him?" he was her boss. "you're in love with him?", more than that, he was friend for a long time. "you're in love with him?" he was the most important person in her life.

"you're in love with him?"

frasier was hers, and the fact that roz wasn't his anymore made her sick to her stomach. "was she ever his?", the voice wondered in her head.

she hated him. she hated being so dependent of his words and his presence. she hated being needy of his attention. she hated how he made herself open up and let him into her life. she hated him for throwing her away like he did.

"you're in love with him?"

she found herself staring at the elevator door, now opened. walking through the lobby for a few moments, she suddenly realized. "what now?" she obviously couldn't go back to her job as his producer. "god, you fucked up", she whispers, feeling her legs suddenly weak. she finally sits in one of the benches near by. her head hurts.

"you're in love with him?"

she hated him for making her fall in a way she swore she would never do again. she hated him, but she hated herself more for loving him.


End file.
